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Thank you

Thank you, I appreciate that

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The other day I was walking down the 6th street in D.C. and I passed a homeless woman on the step. She was a rather large woman who didn’t quite look homeless—just, without a home. She asked for money. “I smiled and told her I didn’t have any. She said, “God bless you, oh, and I love your hair.’ That touched me. Not because of what she said, but that even in 100 degree heat, even after I’d told her I didn’t have any money, she still complimented me. I immediately felt bad for not giving her money.

Then a thought came to me. Just say ‘Thank you.’ and move on!

“Thank you, I appreciate that!’ I yelled to the lady. By now, I’m not even sure that she’d heard me as she was now on to the next passerby. The thought stuck with me though. Why is it so hard for me to accept that someone can show appreciation for my clothes, for my hair, for my personality, and for me to only give them thanks in return?

Why is it that I expect there to be a ‘but,’ or some sort or proposition to follow like ‘can i have your number?’

I met this guy once at a T.G.I. Friday’s in Owings Mills, Maryland. He was at the bar with a few of his friends, I with my…friend (no ‘s‘) and he sparked up a random conversation. I don’t remember much about the context now, because in that moment, I thought he was hitting on me. He even paid for my drink!

Later, as I prepared to leave, he’d asked for my Instagram name. I thought that it was a safer question than to ask for my number and get rejected in front of his friends, so I gave it to him. Harmless.

When I went home, I saw that he’d sent a friend request. I waiting for a direct message to follow, but it didn’t. Maybe he was too drunk? I logged on and perused his page. Pictures of him, him, him and a woman, him and his kids, kids, woman, woman, kids, and then him again. This man was clearly……engaged??

This man didn’t want shit to do with me! He was simply being….nice??? or worse! he was….networking???

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Accepting love, praise and friendliness is something I’m learning everyday to deal with everyday. It’s not that I’m a loveless, ungrateful bitch either. But, the thought that someone thinks that highly of me that they would think to offer their friendship, their time and even their words of gratitude is–hard for me to accept in a way that doesn’t come off as fake and phony.

So I’ve come up with some solutions to work on myself–hope this helps you too girl! No thank you required:

  1. “Thank you. I appreciate that”. (Period)

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No need to elaborate. Someone has just shown you some appreciation for your t-shirt. No need to go all crazy giving praise. I’ve adapted the ‘Thank you (period). I appreciate it (period).’ You’ve thanked someone for their compliment and you have moved the hell on! This doesn’t work without a smile. Add the smile, and stir.

2. Return the compliment—on something! If you really want to return the compliment, and obviously this post is that you certainly don’t have to. But if you do! Do it in a smart way. Find something that you immediately notice about someone and tell them you too appreciate something about them too:

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3. Gloat! Someone just complimented you? Take that shit and run with it! It ain’t everyday that you feel like a 10, and if someone you meet makes you feel like a 7.68, take that shit and gloat in that feeling for a while. I have gotten compliments when I have felt like and looked like absolute dog shit! and Gotdamn it it came right on time! I say, take it and for your :30 of fame, feel like the Queen you are! Go, Gina!

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